This is directed to Leaders and Managers, whose job it is to lead others to do great things for donors and those that their organizations serve.
I’ve come across several instances over the last week of leaders and managers of non-profits that have berated and deflated their staff. Why do some leaders and managers make their subordinates feel small and “less than”?
I know of one organization that is now in the middle of an emergency campaign. Every MGO is working overtime, contacting their donors and soliciting their donors for gifts. They are doing an incredible job. The MGOs collectively have raised an enormous amount of money in just a few short weeks.
However, the other day their CEO sends out an e-mail to all his staff lamenting how she’s not seeing bigger gifts from the MGOs – not showing any appreciation for the total amount raised already, or the fact that many donors who had been lapsed have come back.
Here are good MGOs, human beings who have been working incredibly hard and feeling good about their work, and then they get this email. Talk about all the good air being sucked out of the room.
I was recently talking with an MGO at a different organization who is thinking about leaving her job. I asked what was going on, and she said that every Sunday, starting in the late afternoon, she’s becoming physically sick because she dreads going into the office. I asked her why it was so bad. She said that while she loves the work, her boss is so hard to work with and outrageously demanding that she can’t stand being near him.
These are just two stories I’ve heard in the past week. But I can tell you that Richard and I have heard dozens of similar stories from MGOs and other development professionals over the last few years, and it’s just heartbreaking.
So, if you are a leader or manager and you are challenged in how to lead and inspire your staff, here are a few things to consider:

1. Get to know yourself. In almost 100% of the cases where I see bad behavior from a leader and manager it has to do with THEM, not the employee. I would ask that person, why are you acting this way? What is going on with you, that you feel you need to say this, or act this way? Do you spend time in quiet? Do you take time to assess your strengths and weaknesses?
2. Get to know your style of leadership and management. Have you had anyone give you an assessment of the kind of leader or manager you are? This is important information. By having a third party evaluate your leadership and management style, you can get a different view of yourself. You’ll be able to understand your strengths and weaknesses and begin to manage them properly.
3. Be vulnerable with your staff about your strengths and weaknesses. I know this may seem counterintuitive for you, but the more you can be vulnerable about who you are and what you may be weak in, or what your style is with other people, the more others will be drawn to you. They will still see you as a leader, but they will also know that you are just like them, with fears and doubts.
4. Meet with your direct reports weekly. This is really important. The more you can sit across the table and look eye to eye with your staff, the more you will learn about what is going on with them. Many times you have had bad communication because of your false assumptions about what was going on with your people. Meeting regularly will help your staff communicate with you and know they are being listened to.
5. Meet with your entire staff at least monthly. Everyone wants to be inspired. Your job as a leader and manager is to inspire people. You need to help rally your staff to move forward and do great things. Creating an outlet for that to happen is critical, and it will create trust with your staff.
6. Let your staff know what you’re excited and concerned about. This is about being vulnerable, and letting them know what is going on in your head. Doing this on a consistent basis will help guide them on the direction they need to take in their daily work. But you have to communicate that.
7. Be real. I think the greatest barrier to a good relationship between leaders and managers and their staff is that leaders can’t “be real” with people. As a leader you may have a tendency to put up a wall and not allow others in. This is exactly the opposite approach you should take. Open up your heart, your hands and let other see who you really are. In turn, others will do the same with you.

Remember this: when people are polled about why they left one job for another, the answer wasn’t about salary or position; it was that they didn’t respect or like their leader or manager. That’s the #1 reason!
You lead human beings with all the same feelings, desires, fears and doubts that you have. Be gentle, be kind, take stock of who you are – and then lead, manage and inspire your people.
Jeff