Do You Need an Attitude Adjustment? - Veritus Group

No one wants to hear that they need an attitude adjustment! But if we’re honest, don’t we all need one on occasion? There is so much going on in our lives and happening in the world, and we can all get stuck only focusing on what’s wrong in a way that spirals us into a negative space.

“If you focus on the obstacles, all you will see is obstacles. If you focus on the path through the trees, all you will see is the path through the trees. It’s your choice how you choose to perceive your own career. It’s literally perspective.” – Simon Sinek

Now, I can tell you, it doesn’t always feel like it’s my choice.I woke up last Saturday morning to get ready for a flight out to a conference, had a ton of work to do, and was feeling downright grumpy. At that moment, I was only focused on all that had to get done, which then made me feel overwhelmed, which then resulted in me feeling even more tired.

I am so thankful that I had started reading The Life Brief: A Playbook for No-Regrets Living by Bonnie Wan where she recommended as the first step in her process, spending 10 minutes every morning journaling about the question: “What do I really want?”

Deciding to sit down and write, even in my grumpy state, helped me download some things that were filling my mind. It dumped the trash can of spiraling thoughts and opened up space to focus more on what I wanted.

In focusing on the path through the trees, I began to see possibility and feel gratitude which then adjusted my attitude.

You can starting a practice of journaling with a guide like Bonnie Wan’s book, journaling prompts like these, or these 30 prompts for stress journaling.  Or simply free-write and dump whatever comes to mind for 10 minutes. It helps to hand-write rather than typing, if you can. You don’t even have to write legibly. It’s all about getting it out of your head. You will be surprised how it frees up your mind for more positive but also more resourceful thoughts.

After that morning, I got on the phone with a friend and shared how my journaling was helping my attitude, and he told me that every day he intentionally shifts from saying “I have to” to “I get to.” That small shift is powerful.

I used this to shift from feeling overwhelmed to a mindset of: “I get to travel to a conference and meet wonderful people and learn new things. I get to do tasks today because I have a job that I really like and that gives me meaning.” Shifting my thoughts to “I get to” helped me focus my mind on gratitude.

What do you need to do today, this week, this month, or this year that feels overwhelming, boring, or downright irritating? What’s making you grumpy?

Maybe it’s needing to update a ton of donor information in your data system. Or possibly, creating a proposal for a donor that will require some major digging, research, and time to get it right.

Give this a try. Instead of “I have to do a ton of data entry,” change that to “I get to do data entry, because I have been doing some pretty amazing work with donors and so many great things have been happening that I need to catch up. Would I rather be in a situation where I don’t have much of anything to enter? No, I wouldn’t!” Now, from this space of gratitude, you can create a plan of action to get it done.

Or, instead of “I have to get moving on this big proposal,” try “I get to create this big proposal.” One, it’s exciting to connect a donor’s passion to your mission and see impact made. Because of you, your donor is going to have a meaningful experience that fills their hearts with meaning and the mission you serve will be met in an even greater way. Would you rather not have any donors interested in large gifts? Not at all. Now, with an attitude full of gratitude and perspective, you can break down this big job into small pieces and get to work.

Shifting how you think about your work shifts how you feel about it, which opens up space for more flow and creativity so you can bring your best self to the work. It creates more ease. And who doesn’t want life to be easier?!

Lastly, one more tip that has helped me in the past is to try the 10-minute complaining session. Well, that isn’t exactly what I call it, but you get the idea! Call a friend or colleague up and ask if they would be open to hearing you vent. The rules are you cannot complain for more than 10 minutes, and if you start repeating yourself during those 10 minutes, you have to stop. Give them permission to point out when you do. Whew! It feels so good to just let it rip, without anyone trying to fix it. But then it can be surprising how once you verbalize it, there isn’t as much there as you thought. Not even enough to fill 10 minutes if you are not repeating yourself! Now you have created space in your brain for a different path of thinking.

So, what is making you grumpy these days? Why are you holding on to your grumpiness? What do you plan to do about it?

Give one of the tips a try and let me know how it works.

Karen