“Should I friend my donor on Facebook?”
“Is it OK to follow my donors on Instagram, LinkedIn, or other social media channels?”
I get these questions all the time.
They're fair questions, especially as the lines between personal and professional life keep blurring. But here’s the truth I always come back to: Your relationship with your donor should be friendly, but professional. And crossing the line into a personal friendship, especially through social media, can create more problems than you think.
Let me explain why, and this applies to all social platforms—Facebook, Instagram, X (formerly Twitter), TikTok, LinkedIn, even texting in some cases...
Here are three reasons I recommend you maintain a healthy boundary:
As a front-line fundraiser—whether in major gifts, mid-level, or planned giving—your role is clear: help your donors fulfill their passions and interests through your organization’s mission, and in doing so, help generate net revenue for that mission.
That’s a professional connection, and when it’s working well, it’s powerful. But this is not a relationship to meet your own social needs or the donor’s. Trying to cultivate a friendship beyond that professional role can distract from your primary purpose and make it harder to serve the donor well.
When you develop a personal relationship with a donor, it becomes harder to step back and maintain the emotional objectivity you need. Let’s say the donor stops giving, or their philanthropic priorities shift. If you’re emotionally invested in that friendship, you might take it personally or feel conflicted about disengaging. That emotional entanglement can pull your focus away from serving the donor’s actual needs and the mission of your organization.
Over the years, I’ve seen and heard too many stories where fundraisers got too close to donors and ended up in awkward or inappropriate situations. I’m talking about blurred lines, misinterpreted intentions, and sometimes even harassment or other inappropriate behavior. Once you’re in that space, it’s hard to navigate, and it can damage your credibility, your organization’s reputation, and the donor’s experience. Protect yourself—and your donors—by keeping things professional from the start.
Be warm. Be engaging. Be genuinely interested in your donors as people. Learn about their passions. Remember their birthdays or big milestones. But do it all in a way that’s rooted in professional respect and in service to their relationship with your organization’s mission.
When it comes to social media, here’s my rule of thumb: if it’s a personal account, keep it personal. You don’t need to follow or friend your donors. It’s not necessary—and it’s not a strategic tool to deepen engagement. Your donor communication plan, built on meaningful touchpoints and consistent, thoughtful outreach, will do far more to build trust and long-term connection than any “like” or comment on social media.
Stay focused on what matters: serving the donor, honoring their passions, and advancing your mission with integrity.