What does it really mean when a donor says “no” to your request for a gift?

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Question of the Month

Some people may think that a fundraiser’s job is to get donors to say “yes.” But that’s not accurate. As fundraisers, our job is not to pressure donors toward any specific action, but to align with the donor on where they are, and what matters to them.

So when you do all the work of preparing for an ask, and then the donor says no, don’t treat this like a failure. You have an opportunity to deepen your relationship with this donor if you remain curious about what is going on for them and honor the impact they’ve already made through their giving.

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are a couple FAQs we get on this topic

How do you respond when a donor shares that their financial situation has changed and they’re not able to give?

Be ready to celebrate your donors for their overall impact, even when they can’t commit to giving more. You could say: I’m so glad you shared that with me, and I’m so sorry to hear that things have been tough this year. Can I just share with you a quick story about how your giving over the past X years has made a difference in the community?

What are some good follow-up questions to realign with donors after they say no?

A “no” is simply information, and it’s a great opportunity to align with your donor. To help move the relationship forward, you could say any of the following: I really appreciate you being honest with me. Would you be willing to share more about what led you to that decision?... Are you open to discussions in the future about other giving opportunities?... It’s been a while since we talked about this. Has something come up that has made it difficult for you to move forward?... Do you need more time? When would you like me to come back and revisit this with you?

For more on how you can stay aligned with your donors throughout the asking process, check out our on-demand course, Making Effective Donor Asks. This course is an in-depth training on our Permission-Based Asking™ model. The model blends the most current concepts of thought leaders in the commercial marketplace on how to honor and retain customers, with the best practices from the non-profit world on donor and value retention.

You’ll learn the kinder, gentler, more successful way to get your donors to say “yes” – about everything from a visit to a contribution. Along with the model, you’ll get great prep for the ask in qualifying, goal setting, tiering, strategy, proposal writing, and so much more. Sign up today!