I might get into trouble for this post, but I feel it’s something that must be addressed… especially to leaders and managers of non-profits.
Richard and I have witnessed terrible behavior in too many development and fundraising departments – jealousy, a high-level of office politics, envy, gossip, innuendo, and just plain meanness among staff.
In development shops across the country, this type of stuff is happening, and it’s rotting the core of non-profits.
Is this going on with your development team?
A few months ago, Richard and I were involved in a situation where a manager “had it out for” one of his staff because of his own jealousy, envy and insecurity. This staff member was doing really good work, and the manager felt threatened. Because the manager did not have the necessary skills to properly manage his staff, the whole development team got involved in the drama of it all and it took a major (I mean major) intervention to put an end to it.
Now if this had been an isolated case, I wouldn’t be writing to you about it. But we are seeing this over and over in both large and small organizations. In fact, many times our staff at Veritus actually feel like they are working at a counseling center, rather than a mid- and major-gift fundraising agency.
A huge problem with many non-profits is that some leaders and managers are ill-equipped to lead and manage, and they allow this kind of behavior take hold of their staff. When you allow staff to spread gossip that festers in your hallways, nothing good comes of it. When you allow staff to “get away” with bad behavior towards other staff, it creates anger, hurt and fear.
I want to challenge you to examine how you may be contributing to some of this anger, hurt and fear.
I think it would be helpful to realize and act upon three important truths:

1. We are all broken people — let’s face it. All of us, me especially, have things about us that are just not good. We have fear, we hide things, we are insecure, we have too little compassion for people, and we do stupid things that hurt others. Yes, you too. No one gets off.
2. Because you and I are broken, we must come from a place of grace when we encounter other people’s brokenness — to act any other way is being duplicitous and inauthentic.
3. Even when discipline and accountability is needed, it can be done with kindness and compassion. Of course, there are times when an employee’s behavior is not right, or the job does not fit, or something needs to change radically. Even in those situations you, as a manager, can make the change with kindness, openness, graciousness and accountability. You do not have to be mean, angry and manipulative.

If you and I can act from these three truths, our actions with others – our families, our staff and our donors – will be honoring and life-giving.
I’m amazed that with all the ways people suggest to be donor-centered (entire conferences and TED talks devoted to this subject), the greatest thing you can do to be donor-centered is simply to have grace for one another, and to be kind.
In thinking about all the time and negative energy being poured out in thousands of development departments around the world, the two real losers in all of this are your mission and your donors.
Don’t let them down.
This is what your work should focus on: being the bridge between your mission and your donors. That’s it. And do it with grace and kindness.
Instead of tearing one another down, let’s lift each other up. Besides you and your team, your donors will greatly appreciate it.
Jeff