Over the years, Richard and I have often been asked, “Once we get that first meeting with a donor, what do we do?”
It’s a good question; I’ve heard terrible answers to this question from well-meaning MGOs who more likely than not have been pressured to “get the money.”
Now don’t get weird on me about this, but if you think of cultivating your donors like a dating relationship, you’d go into this with the right mindset. Here’s what I mean…
Would you, on a first date, ask someone to marry you? (Forget about those rom-com movies you’ve seen.) The answer is no. You are trying to get to know the other person. You ask questions, you get the other person to talk about themselves. You are trying to figure out the other person’s values, motivations, interests and what they are most passionate about.
After the date, you may send a text message or an e-mail, or you might call them, saying what a nice time you had.
So take that first date advice and apply it to your first meeting with a donor.
Unfortunately, over the last couple of months MGOs have told me numerous disaster stories about how they have been “forced” by their boss to “go out there and ask donors for money” with a caseload of donors they don’t even really know.
Imagine how the donor feels when, having never met the MGO, the first thing that happens after the small talk is that they are being asked for a significant gift! I know for a fact the donor would be angry and feel like “all they want is my money.”
This is a bad way to start a relationship with a donor. Yet Richard and I get phone calls and emails from scared MGOs who are being pressured by their bosses to bring in the money from donors whom they’ve never met face to face. We get so angry when we hear this from these good people. The MGO knows this doesn’t feel right, yet they fear losing their job if they don’t immediately ask for a large gift on their first meeting.
Our counsel for these MGOs is that if the boss or senior leadership doesn’t want to change their donor cultivation strategy, then they need to get out of that situation and find a place that actually honors donors.
I hope you are not in that kind of situation yourself; but if you are, you need to recognize that you are actually in a position of strength. Do not be afraid to tell your boss that being pressured to go after the money in the first donor meeting is not donor-centered, and that you and the organization need to think about a long-term relationship with the donor.
So what is the right thing to do in that first meeting? One thing: Get to know your donor. That’s all. Here is how to do that:
- Be curious. Ask all kinds of questions without having the donor feel badgered. You especially want to know why that donor gives to your organization, or why they are passionate about your cause.
- Sometimes I go into meetings so focused on my agenda that I don’t really listen to the other person. Don’t make that mistake. Any time a donor has invited you to sit across from them face-to-face is your greatest opportunity to make them feel listened to.
- Be aware. Listen for specific things the donor is telling you about their family, their job, hobbies, other non-profits they support, etc. All of this information is gold. It will help you cultivate this donor with your thank you notes and emails, as well as lining up things they are interested in.
- Make a connection. If you are a good MGO, you will be unbelievably curious. That curiosity will lead you to find some connection to your donor that is unique. There is always something that you and the donor will “connect” on. It’s your job to find it and use it so your donor is reminded of who you are.
Just get to know the donor. You don’t ask for money. In fact, unless the donor brings it up, you don’t want to talk about money. This is all about you connecting with the donor and starting to establish trust. Believe me, that first meeting will leave an impression on the donor, one that will pave the way for the future of your relationship.
Do it the right way. Start that relationship off right.
Jeff
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Jeff,
It’s funny how great minds think alike. Today I posted something similar on my blog, and I have used the first date scenario in past posts. I find it interesting that boards and EDs would expect a MGO to ask for money on the first meeting. Do they like it when they are approached like that on a first meeting?