I think one of the toughest aspects of being an MGO is not allowing your own ego to go wild. If you are not aware of it and can’t control it, it will get you into massive trouble. It will hurt your relationships with your colleagues and your donors.
I write this knowing first hand. I have some of the same attributes that make up a good sales person and MGO. I like getting results through my own efforts. However, throughout my career in fundraising I’ve made some stupid mistakes because I’ve allowed my own ego to go unchecked.
I’ve lost sight of the donor or my client, and I’ve focused on what makes me feel good and fulfilled. It’s embarrassing to admit that to you, but it’s something I struggle with.
Knowing this about myself, I often see this unchecked ego in many other MGOs and development professionals. You may even struggle with it, too. It can have devastating effects on your relationships with others. Here is what it looks like:

1. There is more concern about your standing with your organization than how you are serving your donors. I’ve seen MGOs who are so political and hierarchical that they spend a ton of time working that agenda internally – way more than getting out to form relationships with donors. The MGO gets so concerned about who is doing what in the office, he loses sight that his job is to actually listen to donors and match their interests and passions with the mission of the organization.
2. You block others from getting involved. This one really gets me. I’ve known MGOs who purposely do not involve their CEOs, board members or even program people from interacting with “their” donors because they want total credit for either the relationship or the gifts that come from that donor. I know you’re thinking, “this can’t be.” But Richard and I have seen this many times. I know one MGO who purposely kept another MGO from introducing her donor to his donor, because somehow he would look weak that the introduction didn’t come from him. I know that sounds unbelievable, but you can see how egos get in the way.
3. Hiding bad news. None of us want things to go wrong. Even harder is having to tell a donor that something they are funding is not going as well as it should, or something negative about the organization is going to come out publicly. Ego-driven MGOs love to shout from the mountains when good things happen, but are awful when bad stuff happens. They tend to hide it. Again, I know this first hand. My first instinct is to brush bad news under the table. While difficult, this is not donor-centered thinking. Sometimes things go wrong. That is life. You have to get over the tendency to brush it aside, and learn to deal with it head on and communicate it.
4. Maintaining control. Ego-driven MGOs have a tendency to try to “control” the relationship with a donor in every situation. That is a recipe for all kinds of problems. Those types of MGOs don’t listen well. They have their own agendas for the donors, rather than listening for what the donor has a heart and passion for.
5. Making revenue look better than it is. This is another one that I’ve seen many MGOs try. What I’ve seen happen many times is that an MGO will get close to the end of the year and she sees that she is probably not going to make her goals. So she starts playing with her caseload. She starts by taking some of the “non-performing” donors off her caseload and put other donors on that gave a gift that year, but not through her efforts. So it artificially inflates how her caseload performed. Yes, this happens. Why? Because an ego-driven MGO cannot bear the fact that she has underperformed. Instead of evaluating her own performance and communicating with her manager, she tries to Jerry-rig her caseload.

I know these attributes seem pretty bad. However, I have compassion and empathy when I see these in MGOs I’ve worked with. Having these tendencies myself, I “get” what is going on. However, you have to change. Your organization and your donors deserve the best from you.
That “best” means being able to self-evaluate your proclivities and how they manifest themselves every day. If any one of these five resonates with you, be honest with it. Figure out why you do it. Then start to move from ego-driven to donor-driven. Notice what happens when you do.
It’s scary, I know. But it’s so much better.
Jeff