Who are you?  Have you been asked that question?
My wife asked me that several weeks ago when I was having a meltdown on a particular subject that was especially frustrating to me.  She did not recognize me because of the reaction I was having.   I was not aligned with my stated beliefs and values.  I was someone else.
That’s why she had to ask the question.
And just asking the question stopped me dead in my tracks as I quickly got the picture of what was really happening in my words and behavior.  I was saying things that were foreign to my deeply held beliefs and values.  I was not aligned.
This subject came up in our Veritus Group retreat last week.
Jeff and I feel very strongly that all of us as a team need to be aligned to a set of values and beliefs that govern how we behave.  Why?  Because it affects how we conduct ourselves, which, in turn, affects how we treat clients, and ultimately affects how the truth and principles of what we believe about major gifts transmits through the MGO right to the donor.
As an MGO you are the frontline representative of your organization to the donor.  This is a pretty significant and important role – one that is likely not as valued as it should be.  You are the face and the spirit – the incarnation, if you will, of the cause.  This is pretty serious stuff.
This means that if you are not aligned, not only in your personal beliefs, values and behavior, but also in what you believe about the organization in which you serve – you can’t possibly be in an emotional, psychological or intellectual position to relate properly to a donor.
Here’s what I mean:

1. If you are not authentic, you will not say what you feel, you will not be who are, you will not risk being wrong and you will not relate the facts as you should.
2. If you are not vulnerable, you will not admit mistakes, admit fear, be able to say “I don’t know” or be able to let go of looking good in front of the donor.
3. If you are not respectful, you will not allow for differences of opinion, you will not listen well or be able to properly relate to the push back your donor is giving you.

There could be other characteristics or attributes you would add to this list.  And if you have them, go ahead and do so.  But here is my point.
If, in your relationship with your donor, you are not authentic, not vulnerable and not respectful, you are creating energy in the relationship that is negative, self or organizationally oriented and more focused on getting the money than serving the donor.
This is why Jeff and I continue to ask every MGO – as we continue to ask YOU – what you value about each of your donors.
You know how refreshing it is to be with someone who is open, attentive, caring and helpful to what you want to do and what is important to you.  It is a warm, enlightening and pleasant experience.  You enjoy being in the presence of that person. Time flies by and you want to repeat the encounter in the future.
This is the reason that WHO you are affects your donor.  When you come into their presence, either on the phone, in email or in their home – with light, openness, care, attentiveness and an attitude of service, you bring a wonderful gift into their lives.
And that gift that you give will result in a gift back to you.
Richard