Have you ever had the experience of sitting in a room with the program, finance or even fundraising people of a non-profit and, after all the chatter died away, realized that there was something missing from the conversation?
The missing thing was a focus on the people or the causes that the non-profit exists to serve.  Nowhere in the long discussion did anyone mention the abused woman, the drug addict, the hungry child, the cancer patient, the disabled person, the endangered species, the environmental disaster or any of the other clients/causes the non-profit exists to serve.
Instead, it was all about the latest processes, criteria, charts, trends, studies, etc. – all good stuff, in the proper place, but all far more dominant than the struggles faced by the people or planet every day.
And what is missing is heart, emotion, empathy, concern – all the content that grabs you and reminds you what it’s all about.
I was in a meeting several months ago in which the moderator droned on for hours about the process of and criteria for helping, rather than the actual helping itself.
It was no wonder, in this environment, that the proposals and offers the MGO’s were cranking out were devoid of any humanity or cause language.  They mimicked the stage that had already been set:  a focus on process, criteria and boring facts and numbers.  It was also no wonder that the MGO’s were not successful in raising money.
And, because of all of this, I began to study this dynamic more.  I realized that, left to its own devices, the natural course of the development of a non-profit is to begin with the people and the cause and then, over time, migrate to a fixation on process.  The result:  people and heart take a back seat.  And the ultimate destination of this journey is irrelevance and failure.
Well, what does all of this have to do with major gift fundraising?  First of all,  process and criteria never raised a dime.  Take a look at the chart below and pretend it describes the process of helping in your organization.   (I just put in the first chart I found to illustrate this point, so don’t try to read this one).

OK, is this chart motivating?  Nope.  Do you think a donor wants to know all about your process, criteria, etc.?  Nope.
Don’t get me wrong.  I love process, charts, numbers, etc.  Really.  I do love all of that stuff.  And there is nothing better than creating efficiency or making sure we are more effective.  Nothing better.
But what I am trying to say here is that we are missing the heart of the matter in much of our internal and external communication.  And instead, we are talking over our employees and donors and then wondering why they are not motivated.
When my business partner and I ran The Domain Group, which became one of the leading direct response agencies serving non-profits in the United States and Europe, I constantly told our staff:
“At least once a week, stop and think about the clients of our clients (the homeless person, the hungry kid, the person with cancer, the forgotten elderly, the condition of our planet, etc.)  Be gripped by the hurt and pain they find themselves in.  Allow your heart to break.  Cry for them.  And then, through your efforts, experience the joy of helping. Don’t ever forget them.”
Here’s why I did this.  I knew that if too much time went by without that reminder, we would think the whole thing was about our creativity, our strategy, our brilliance, etc.  And then we would have migrated into process and the program of creating good advertising.  And we would have lost our hearts.
This is why I feel so strongly that you must be aware of this dynamic and not allow it to creep into your head and life where you work.  Keep the heart and humanity in your language, in your writings, in your thoughts and in your donor communication.  Because if you lose the heart for your cause, you have lost everything.

Mother Teresa said,  “There is a terrible hunger for love. We all experience that in our lives – the pain and loneliness. We must have the courage to recognize it. The poor you may have right in your own family. Find them. Love them.”
I find that when we are in touch with our own pain and loneliness, then we can properly love those around us and be present, always, with those we serve.  This is far more motivating than discussing a process all day.
Here are four very simple, specific things you can do to counter this trend in your organization and even in your own head:

  1. Every morning, before you get going, think about the people (or causes) your non-profit serves.  Be thankful for them and purpose that today, you will think about their pain and suffering and you will find a way, through your fundraising efforts, to do your part to help them.
  2. Make sure that the people (causes) you serve are present IN every meeting you are in.  Bring them up and talk about them. Tell a story of a problem you heard about or a solution that worked.  Or, simply say, “I just wanted all of us to remember the people (cause) we serve.”
  3. Make sure that the people (causes) you serve are present IN every donor communication, whether verbal or written.  Do not let words go out of your mouth or documents out of your hand without them being present.
  4. At least once a week go find a story about the struggle and/or victory a person (cause) you serve has encountered. And let it break your heart and fill your being with joy.

I promise that if you do these four things you will not slide into complacency, hardness and mediocrity.  Instead, you will stay grounded and centered where you should be – with a soft and caring heart for the people and causes you are committed to serving.
There is no better place to be.  AND, it will help you be successful in your job.

Series Details
Reason #1: Program Becomes More Important Than People
Reason #2: Money Is Valued Over Relationship
Reason #3: Getting Things Done Is Better Than Doing The Right Things
Reason #4: Obsession with Percentages
Reason #5: A Focus On Power & Control vs. Effectiveness & Opportunity
Reason #6, Growth Becomes the Objective vs. Greatness