Fundraising and Donor Horror Stories That Might Shock You

It’s Halloween week, and while most people are trading ghost stories or debating the best candy, I thought we’d share a few fundraising horror stories.

Now, before you cover your eyes, I’ll say this: the vast majority of fundraisers and donors we work with are incredible people—thoughtful, caring, and deeply committed to making the world better. But every so often, we hear about a story so shocking, so cringeworthy, it makes you want to grab a flashlight, huddle by the campfire, and whisper: “Never again.”

The goal here isn’t to scare you—it’s to help you learn from these real-life missteps.

Believe me, I’ve made my fair share of mistakes when I was a young fundraiser, and the lessons I learned from them were invaluable. Every one of these stories has a simple, powerful takeaway about empathy, boundaries, and professionalism.

Are you ready? Let’s get spooky...

The Grunt for “Yes”

One of the most disturbing stories we’ve heard involves a major gift officer who had a donor who could no longer speak. Instead of finding another respectful way to communicate—like writing notes, working through a family member, or using assistive technology—the MGO decided to go ahead with their solicitation anyway.

Their “solution”? The MGO told the donor to grunt once for yes and twice for no. 

Let that sink in.

This was a moment when the fundraiser’s focus on “getting the gift” completely overrode their sense of humanity and respect. Not only was this insensitive, but it was also humiliating for the donor. The lesson here? Fundraising is about partnership, not pressure. If you ever find yourself more focused on the money than the relationship, it’s time to pause and re-evaluate.

Start from a place of empathy.

The Marriage Advice Gone Wrong

Another one of our favorite (and terrifying) stories came from a fundraiser who had just gotten engaged. During a donor call, an older donor found out about her engagement and offered to send some “marriage advice” he and his wife had written up.

Seems harmless enough, right? Except the advice came in the form of a five-page document that included… well, let’s just say some inappropriate tips about intimacy.

Thankfully, the MGO handled it gracefully. She thanked the donor politely, pivoted the conversation, and set a clear boundary. But this story is a perfect example of why fundraisers need to be prepared for uncomfortable situations. Setting boundaries protects you, the donor, and the integrity of your relationship.

And yes, sometimes donors cross lines. But how you respond—with calm, tactful professionalism—can make all the difference.

The “Palm Springs Vacation” Disguised as Donor Work

This last one? It’s the kind of story that makes every development director break out in hives.

An MGO booked a trip to Palm Springs to visit donors in the middle of winter. Convenient, right? Once there, they suddenly got “sick,” and several of their donor meetings mysteriously “fell through.” So, what happened next? Four relaxing days on the beach.

Management eventually caught on, but before they could take action, the MGO transferred to another department, dodging blame completely. It was a breakdown on all sides: poor communication, weak accountability, and a lack of transparency.

The moral here? Good management is about creating structure and trust. Every visit should have clear documentation and clear outcomes. When that’s missing, it’s easy for things to go sideways.

Spooky Season Lessons

What can we take from these spooky tales?

Each of these stories—while extreme—reveals something important about the work we do. Fundraising isn’t just about raising money; it’s about respect, relationships, and responsibility.

• Don’t lose sight of the person behind the gift.
• Set and honor professional boundaries.
• Stay accountable—to your donors, your team, and yourself.
• Always, always lead with empathy.

These horror stories stick with us because they remind us of the opposite: the countless fundraisers who do it right. Who take the time to listen. Who build relationships rooted in trust. Who bring heart and humanity into every ask conversation.

So, as you enjoy your Halloween candy and maybe a scary movie or two, take a moment to reflect: what stories would your donors tell about you? Hopefully, they’re full of warmth, impact, and a little bit of whimsy.

And hey, if you’ve got your own spooky fundraising story to share, we’d love to hear it.

Happy Halloween!