One Question to Unlock a Donor Conversation

A while back, I was scrolling through Apple News on my phone, and a headline from People Magazine caught my eye: “Carl Reiner's One Simple Question to 'Dick Van Dyke Show' Writers Changed the Way Sitcoms Were Written.”

The subhead read: “The iconic showrunner prioritized bringing stories that felt real to audiences.”

I was intrigued. How could one thing really change sitcoms, from The Dick Van Dyke Show to Everyone Loves Raymond? But it did. And it was simple. In talking to writers, he asked, “What happened in your house this week?” The result was—and is—a continuous supply of relatable storylines.

So how does this question relate to thinking about donors?

From where I sit as a coach, talking with more than three hundred relationship fundraisers the past 12+ years, I continuously hear donors talked about as if they are something other than what they are: wives, husbands, partners, children, business owners, executives, teachers, parents, neighbors, congregants, runners, softball players. The list can go on and on. But the point is, we forget that donors are people outside of their giving role.

If you take time to stop and visualize the person who is generously supporting the work your organization does, it helps bring this relationship thing into focus.

These are real people. With real lives. Sometimes, when you call and the donor is a bit short, it could be as simple as they just got a call from the school and have to pick up a sick child. Or they are frustrated trying to complete a quarterly report. Maybe they are weighed down by caring for an elderly parent.

All the things. Just like you. And just like me. Start there, and this whole enterprise of connecting becomes more natural. Because you’re talking to a person. Just like you’re a person.

So what do you ask?

At Veritus, we have a full matrix of questions that are helpful starting points for different phases of your connection with your donor. All are helpful.

But if you really want to unlock the magic that helps to move toward deeper engagement and transformational giving, you need to get to the driver behind why the donor supports your work.

Step one is to find out what is it that your organization does that is of the greatest interest. Then it goes something like this:

“Julia, that last time we met, we talked about XYZ program, and that of all we do, this is what interests you the most. I’m curious, how did that become more important to you?”

Possible follow-up: “Was there something you’ve experienced or witnessed that created a bit of a tipping point?”

What you are looking for is the relatable link between the donor and the program or cause they support.

In your quest for that connection, maybe you start the conversation with: “So what happened in your home this week?” And be ready to share a little bit of your life, too. With that warm foundation, look for the why or driver for your donor’s choices about investing through your organization to make a change they care about.

I hope this series on talking has been helpful. You can catch up on my previous posts here:

-- Are You Talking Too Much During Your Donor Conversations?

-- Are You Still Talking When Your Donor Is Done Listening?

-- Don’t Ask Your Donors ‘How Are You?’

-- Talking to Strangers (Or Donors You Don’t Know Yet)

Please let me know in the comments what stood out, what you have tried, and the difference it made for you.