15 Open-Ended Questions to Ask Donors and Build Stronger Relationships

If you’re a frontline fundraiser, you’ve probably had a donor conversation where you weren’t quite sure what to say next.

Maybe the donor was giving you short answers. Maybe you were so focused on covering everything you needed to discuss that the conversation started to feel like an interview. Or perhaps you walked away realizing that you had done most of the talking.

It happens.

But when you ask a thoughtful, open-ended question, you give the donor room to tell you who they are, what they care about, why they give, and how they would like to engage.

Questions like “What inspires you?” and “What makes you continue to give?” can take the conversation somewhere you never would have reached with a yes-or-no question.

The goal, though, is not to work your way through a list of questions. You’re trying to understand the person in front of you.

So let’s talk about how to do that.

What is an open-ended donor question?

An open-ended donor question invites the donor to share more than a one-word answer.

These questions often begin with:

• What

• How

• Why

• Tell me about

• In what ways

For example, you could ask, “Do you like receiving our newsletters?”

That might help you confirm a preference, but it doesn’t tell you very much.

Instead, you could ask, “How do you prefer to hear about the impact of your giving?”

Now the donor has room to explain what they find meaningful, what kind of information they want, and how they would like to receive it.

That gives you something useful to work with.

Why are open-ended questions important in fundraising?

It’s easy to default to yes-or-no questions, especially when you’re nervous or trying to keep a conversation moving.

But those questions tend to keep the conversation at the surface.

Open-ended questions can help you:

• Learn about the donor beyond their giving history

• Discover their passions and interests

• Understand what motivates their continued support

• Identify opportunities for deeper engagement

• Personalize future communication and stewardship

• Notice when a donor may be ready for a major giving conversation

This is particularly important in mid-level and major gift fundraising, where meaningful relationships are built through consistent, personal communication.

In a relational mid-level program, these conversations can help you retain donors, lift their level of support when appropriate, and move qualified donors into major gifts.

But none of that happens if you’re only talking about your organization.

You need to give the donor space to talk.

What can you ask to get to know the donor beyond the bio?

Your donor is more than what you can find in your database.

Their giving history may tell you when and how much they have given, but it won’t necessarily tell you what brings them joy, what experiences have shaped them, or what they hope to accomplish.

You have to learn those things through the relationship.

Here are a few questions that can help:

• What has brought you the most fulfillment in your life?

• What is the most memorable book, movie, concert, or other experience you have had?

• What are some of the greatest lessons you learned from your family?

• What inspires you?

These are personal questions, so pay attention to the relationship and the timing.

You probably wouldn’t open an introductory call by asking someone about the greatest lessons they learned from their family. But if the donor mentions a family member or begins sharing a personal story, there may be a natural opportunity to learn more.

The point is not to collect personal details. It is to understand how the donor sees the world.

How can you discover a donor’s passions and interests?

Fundraisers sometimes assume they know why a donor gives based on the program connected to the gift.

But the donor may have a much more personal reason for supporting that work.

Maybe the mission connects to something their family experienced. Maybe they want to create an opportunity they didn’t have themselves. Or perhaps they care about one small part of the program that you’ve rarely discussed with them.

You won’t know unless you ask.

Try questions like these:

• What are you most passionate about in your life right now?

• What are the most important things you would like to accomplish this year?

• How did you come to the decision to make your first gift?

• Why is our organization important to you?

Listen for the words, stories, and emotions the donor uses.

If they become more animated when they talk about one part of your mission, pay attention. If they connect their giving to a personal experience, explore that connection. If they tell you their interests have changed, update your plan accordingly.

And don’t expect to understand everything in one conversation.

Discovering a donor’s passions and interests is an ongoing part of the relationship, not a box you check once and consider finished.

What can you ask to understand why a donor continues to give?

The reason someone made their first gift may not be the reason they continue to give today.

Their interests may have shifted. Their connection to the organization may have deepened. Or a particular story, relationship, or experience may now be driving their continued support.

These questions can help you understand what keeps the donor connected:

• What makes you continue to give?

• Of all the programs and services provided through your gift, which one really calls to your heart?

• Of all the gifts you have given, which one brought you the most joy?

These questions move the conversation away from the transaction and toward meaning.

They can also tell you what a successful giving experience looks like from the donor’s perspective.

For one donor, that may be seeing a specific program expand. For another, it may be receiving a story that shows how someone’s life changed. Another donor may find joy in bringing their family into their philanthropy.

Don’t assume you already know the answer.

How can you learn what kind of connection a donor wants?

Not every donor wants the same kind of relationship with your organization.

Some want regular updates. Some want to tour a project, attend an event, or volunteer. Others may prefer one or two meaningful conversations each year.

More communication isn’t always better communication.

You can learn what a donor values by asking:

• If you were to tour one of our projects, what would you want to learn most about?

• What type of event would you be most interested in attending?

• Is there a volunteer opportunity that has caught your eye?

• What would you like to know about us?

That final question is particularly useful because it gives the donor control over where the conversation goes next.

They may ask about something you hadn’t planned to discuss. They may raise a concern you didn’t know they had. Or they may point you toward an interest that should shape your next communication.

Whatever they share, stay with their answer for a while. Don’t rush to steer the conversation back to what you wanted to say.

How should you use open-ended questions in a donor conversation?

Open-ended questions should support a natural conversation. They should not make the donor feel like they are completing a survey.

Here are a few ways to use them well.

Prepare one or two questions

You don’t need to bring all 15 questions into your next donor meeting.

Choose one or two that fit the donor, the purpose of the conversation, and where you are in the relationship.

You might prepare a few possible follow-up questions too, but don’t become so attached to your plan that you miss what the donor is actually telling you.

One thoughtful question followed by genuine listening is usually more valuable than getting through an entire list.

Ask permission before moving the conversation forward

Sometimes you need to move from casual conversation into a more personal topic or a discussion about giving. That transition can feel awkward if you make it without acknowledging the shift. This is where Permission-Based Asking™ can help.

Rather than assuming the donor is ready to discuss a particular topic, ask for permission.

You might say:

• “You mentioned that this program is especially meaningful to you. Would you be comfortable sharing what first drew you to that part of our work?”

• “Would it be okay if I asked what you would most like to see your giving accomplish?”

• “You’ve shared a lot about why this matters to you. Would you be open to hearing about an opportunity that may connect with those interests?”

The donor knows where the conversation is going and has the opportunity to say yes, no, or not yet.

That creates a much clearer path for both of you.

Give the donor time to answer

Don’t rush to fill every silence.

Some questions require the donor to think. If you ask what has brought someone the most fulfillment in life, they may need more than two seconds to answer.

A pause doesn’t mean the conversation is going badly.

Give the donor room to consider the question and decide what they would like to share.

Ask follow-up questions

The best question may not be the one you prepared. It may be the question that follows something the donor says.

Simple responses can keep the conversation moving:

• “Tell me more about that.”

• “What made that meaningful to you?”

• “How did that experience shape your thinking?”

• “What would that look like for you?”

• “How would you like to be involved?”

You don’t have to immediately connect every answer to a giving opportunity.

Sometimes the most important thing you can do is listen.

Record what you learn

If a donor shares a communication preference, interest, concern, or philanthropic goal, document it in your CRM.

Then use it.

If they tell you they care deeply about a particular program, send them relevant updates. If they prefer a scheduled phone call over an unexpected call, honor that preference. If they say they aren’t interested in events, stop inviting them to every event.

Remembering what a donor shares demonstrates that you listened.

Collecting the information and then ignoring it does the opposite.

Respect the donor’s boundaries

Not every donor will want a deeper relationship with your organization.

If someone gives short answers, changes the subject, or tells you they prefer limited communication, pay attention.

That doesn’t mean you asked a bad question or f

ailed as a fundraiser. It means the donor has told you something important about the relationship they want.

Honor it.

What mistakes should you avoid during donor conversations?

Even a strong question can fall flat if you’re asking it only because you want information that will lead to a larger gift.

Be careful about:

• Asking several questions in rapid succession

• Treating your questions like a script

• Interrupting the donor to share your own story

• Asking leading questions designed to produce a particular answer

• Listening only for major gift indicators

• Collecting personal information without using it to improve the relationship

• Moving to the next question before exploring what the donor has already shared

• Continuing when the donor seems uncomfortable

If you notice yourself doing one of these things, slow down.

You don’t have to rescue the conversation with another question. Return your attention to the donor, listen to what they’ve said, and decide whether the best next step is to ask more, share something relevant, or simply move on.

What are the best open-ended questions to ask a donor?

The best questions help you understand what the donor cares about, why they give, what impact they hope to make, and how they would like to engage.

“Why is our organization important to you?” can be a good place to begin if it fits naturally within the conversation and your relationship.

How many questions should you prepare for a donor meeting?

Prepare one or two primary questions and a few possible follow-up questions.

You may not use all of them, and that’s fine. Let the donor’s responses determine where the conversation goes.

Are yes-or-no questions bad?

No. Yes-or-no questions are useful when you need to confirm a fact, preference, or logistical detail.

But if you want to understand the donor’s experiences, motivations, or interests, an open-ended question will usually give you more to work with.

What if the donor gives very short answers?

Give them time, then try a gentle follow-up such as, “What stands out to you most?”

If the donor continues giving short answers or seems uncomfortable, respect the boundary and move on. Not every donor wants to have a personal conversation.

Can you use these questions with both mid-level and major donors?

Yes. Open-ended questions are useful throughout mid-level, major gift, and planned giving relationships.

The specific question should reflect the donor, the history of your relationship, and the purpose of the conversation.

A mid-level fundraiser may use these questions to learn more about a donor’s interests, communication preferences, or desire for a deeper relationship.

A major gift fundraiser may use them to understand a donor’s philanthropic goals, explore a potential opportunity, or guide a more significant giving conversation.

The principle is the same at every level: ask with genuine curiosity and listen to understand.

What should you do with what a donor shares?

Document relevant insights in your CRM and use them to personalize future communication, stewardship, impact reporting, engagement opportunities, and proposals.

Be thoughtful about what you record, protect the donor’s privacy, and never make promises your organization cannot keep.

Start with one question

If having a meaningful donor conversation feels overwhelming, don’t try to master all 15 questions at once.

Choose one donor.

Think about what you already know, what you still need to understand, and which question could help you learn it. Then ask the question and give the donor time to answer.

You may not get a dramatic new insight every time. That’s not the point.

The goal is to build a relationship where the donor feels heard, respected, and known. Over time, those conversations help you understand what matters to the donor and how your organization can become a meaningful partner in their giving.

Start with one question. Listen carefully. Then let the donor’s answer show you what should happen next.

Ready to strengthen your skills and build more meaningful donor relationships?

Our certification courses for mid-level and major gift fundraisers provide the systems, tools, and practical guidance you need to qualify and prioritize donors, uncover their passions and interests, create personalized engagement plans, and approach donor conversations with confidence.